Wednesday, November 27, 2013

Thanksgiving sure has changed..

Last night Joe and I were talking about Thanksgiving.  I realized I don't have a lot of great memories from Thanksgiving because to me that long weekend meant my friends were going to be gone, and I have never been a huge fan of Thanksgiving type food (including pumpkin pie).  Also, my sister didn't always spend the holiday with us and she is a huge part of my life.

We are spending Thanksgiving tomorrow with my aunt, uncles, and my parents, sister and my cousin.  I'm looking forward to it, but sad that my cousin and her husband and girls won't be with us.  Grandpa also passed away recently, and while he hasn't been with us for Thanksgiving for the last several years, it's still sad he won't be around in general.   My inlaws also don't live nearby anymore and I miss them this time of year especially. 

I'm really saddened by how many people will be working on Thanksgiving day.  It's sad that instead of giving thanks, many will be at work because others will be taking advantage of crazy early holiday sales.  When did this change so drastically? As a kid, I don't remember anything being open for Thanksgiving shopping.  I found myself really annoyed with all the sales ads I got in my email inbox today.  I'm grateful Joe doesn't have a job that requires him to work Thanksgiving day.  

Thanksgiving has never been my favorite holiday but this year I am reminded to hold my family close, enjoy our silly moments together, and cherish the (annoying) phases Dawson is going through.  (Nothing like a 2 year old telling you that you do things 'wrong').   And I'll be grateful that I get to spend it with my best friends too :) 

Last year we were moving into our house on Thanksgiving and it was spent at Shari's with my mom and sister.  I didn't realize how lucky I am to get a real Thanksgiving meal with lots of family until last year when it was purely convenience. (We did have a feast together, just not ON Thanksgiving day)
  I guess you don't know what you've got until it's not there sometimes!  Ah, how things change!

Happy Thanskgiving everyone! Enjoy your day! 

Tuesday, November 26, 2013

Awwww Mondays.. On Tuesday?

I'm so late to this party! Awww Mondays.. On Tuesday? A day late, but who's counting?
Flashback.  I love me some squishy baby photos! Especially Dawson ones :)

What a chub!

Monday, November 25, 2013

Back up the bus..

**if this offends you, I apologize in advance**

Let's talk about Facebook, Twitter, and Pinterest, Instagram or any other social media for your pet.  

I usually find the "friends we suggest" scrolling across my Facebook a huge pain in my butt.  Today, I had to laugh (harder than I probably should have.. amazing what really awful sleep can do).  I decided to browse through people I haven't added, mostly due to laziness.. and my above mentioned annoyance.  

Would you believe it if I told you that there were almost as many Facebook pages for pets and also children under the age of 2 as there were organizations and adults? 

 I busted up laughing, simply because I tried to not only picture what an animal would have to say, but also how they would operate their computer to post!  I post from my phone quite a bit.. A dog, cat, or 3 month old with a smart phone of their own?  Point is, I'm not sure my cat can remember what he went down the hall for let alone what intelligent thought (jury is still out that he has these) should be posted on Facebook.  

 I realize kids use a parent's smart phone to play games, but I fail to see the need for their own Facebook page.  And an animal.. well, I just don't understand it.  

Am I the only one that feels this way? Is there something I am missing? 

Sunday, November 24, 2013

Trapping My Child and Other Adventures

I said I would update on how the new big boy bed is going.  Well, better than expected.

The first few nights on the mattress on the floor went pretty well.  In fact, the first night he was so excited he didn't even want to read stories!  This excitement of course has passed.  Fat chance that would last longer than one night.. 

Anyway! He got thiscute little rechargeable nightlight from IKEA and his attachment to it was pretty much instant.  That's mostly what has been keeping him awake until holy crap late (11:30pm.. I know, the party is just getting started then! Not if you have a 2 year old..) because he just wants to lay in his bed with it and talk to it and play with it.  Cute, kid, real cute.. But mama and daddy need to sleep!  So the nightlight has to live over by his music, which by some miracle he hasn't touched.  

I was so worried about him touching and playing with all kinds of things and he really hasn't gone farther than the edge of his mattress.. You know, with his legs (or just his toes) still touching the mattress to lean across the room.  Which by the way, is hilarious to watch and he even slept this way one night.  

His Pottery Barn Kids treehouse bed came on Friday and he was instantly IN LOVE.  I have never seen his face light up like that. Great job and a BIG thank you to Grandma R!  The first night he slept under it, which sent my Mommy anxiety into overdrive because I couldn't see him on the monitor.  He was so tired I don't think he moved at all though.. or that's what I'm trying to convince myself of.

Yesterday Joe put the ladder on and put him up top for his nap.  Success! He slept in it! Never mind that Daddy took the ladder off so he would stay in there.  He also slept up there last night.. without the ladder.  Now I don't have to worry about any of the crap in his room because he is stuck! Just like in the crib.  And I can see him again on the monitor.  Whew!   I have never seen something so funny as his little face all squished up in the little tiny windows.. and didn't you know, the view is different from each square?! Apparently so.  

I guess that's not really a huge update.  Thankfully it was pretty uneventful, other than his new bed coming!  

Saturday, November 23, 2013


I'm a horrible procrastinator.  Usually because of my anxiety.  Ironic, because procrastinating usually just feeds my anxiety.  So I have been trying not to do that.  

This week I managed to shop for some new clothes, schedule Christmas pictures to be taken, go to my therapy appointments, schedule my car for the bumper repair, get my car in to the dealership for the dash lights (again), have some girl time, get the grocery shopping done, and get haircuts for Dawson and I both. Best of all I have had a fairly pull free week.   I feel pretty darn accomplished! Sounds like every day stuff but some weeks it's too much for me to handle to even get the grocery shopping done. 

My trichotillomania is a constant work in progress, even when others can't tell.  Yesterday I got some of the back cut off but I decided to leave the longer hair around my face.  Sometimes cutting it can be triggering and I have been doing pretty well the last few weeks.  But I definitely don't want to be walking around with a mullet style look.  Totally not hot! 

Here's what it looks like now

Believe it or not, this looks better than it has in a long while.  Unfortunately I have done so much damage that at least half of my hair is growing in with little to no color.  I guess either it will develop some color eventually or I will just have to deal with having white hair.  Actually the idea of that doesn't bother me as much as having my hair be so short and thin.  

Despite my lack of hair I decided to schedule family pictures for Christmas.  It really bothers me that I have no pictures from last year with Dawson at all.. all because of my hair and hiding.  The shame in the past has been overwhelming and I thought I could just isolate myself until I got "better."  I can see now that I was just letting trichotillomania run my life.  It's time to start choosing to run my life myself.  Hair or not, I am still the same person.  Some people will understand, some won't.  And that's okay. 

It's sometimes hard for me to see the progress I have made with trichotillomania.  I'm pretty hard on myself when I slip up but it's just reality.  I may never be pull free.  I just need to learn to manage it and not let it manage me. 

 I think I will start making weekly posts with pictures to keep me on track.  I'm hoping this will bring hope to others that struggle.  Can trichotillomania be beat? I don't know.  I know that I can manage it, I have done it before.  I will get back there.  

Here's what my hair used to look like and my ultimate goal

Thursday, November 21, 2013

Healthy Blueberry Crunch Muffins

So I said I was making muffins this week and I know it's already Thursday but I finally got around to it!

First off, I discovered chia seeds a few months ago and I am in love.  Omega 3s and protein? Yes please! Plus I can squeeze them into most baked goods without the boys noticing :) They also expand to fill me up so I can eat less and feel just as satisfied.  Chia pudding is another way to eat them and I love that too! For this recipe they added a nice crunch, like poppy seeds.  

Anyway, onto the muffins.  You can find the original recipe here. I did alter her recipe quite a bit but it's the same basic idea.  Oats, Greek yogurt, blueberries.. and some other stuff too :) Dawson assisted me with the stirring.. He is such a big helper! 


2 cups flour
1/2 cup oats 
1/2 teaspoon salt
2 tablespoons chia seeds
1 teaspoon baking powder 
1 teaspoon baking soda
1/3 cup agave nectar
1 3/4 cup plain Greek yogurt
2 eggs, beaten
3 tablespoons coconut oil, melted & cooled slightly
2 teaspoons vanilla
1/4 cup milk
1 cup blueberries (fresh or frozen)
 Cooking spray or baking cups

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.  Either spray your muffin pan with cooking spray or line with baking cups. 

Mix the flour, oats, salt, chia seeds, baking powder and soda in a large bowl with a whisk to combine.  In a separate bowl mix together the yogurt, eggs, vanilla, coconut oil, and milk. Add the wet mixture to the dry ingredients and stir until you get everything wet.  Don't over mix!  Fold in the blueberries gently. If using frozen, do not thaw ahead of time! Just throw them in straight from the freezer.  

Spoon batter into muffin tin and bake for 20 minutes.  Cool and enjoy!

I would highly recommend using cooking spray for this recipe instead of baking cups.  The baking cups work, but when I tried to peel them back they resist coming off the muffin and take some with them! Not a big deal to us but could be frustrating!  These also are not super sweet, just as a heads up! 

Tuesday, November 19, 2013

Five Years

Dawson and I went to meet my mom at the mall today to buy the boy yet another pair of shoes (what?! It's only been 2 months! Growing like a weed!) As I passed an exit in my lame mom mobile with my cruise set to the speed limit, I saw a little sports car just like the one I used to drive merging onto the freeway at what now I would call way way too fast.  

Five years ago I was the person in that car.  My little two seater with the music blaring probably headed to the mall to buy myself a pair of new shoes.  I had to laugh, because so much has changed in five years and I would have NEVER pictured myself in a minivan with my old boots and just whatever I could find to wear on with a little one in the backseat (dressed far better than I am, I might add.)  

Five years ago I was not married yet nor was I thinking I was going to have children soon.  It made me wonder how much more will change in the next five years.  I hope to have another child by then and be in school.  Or maybe I will be that mom that volunteers her time at the school.  The possibilities are endless.  

I miss my sports car.. I really do.  As I listened to Dawson giggling in the backseat about his Tom and Jerry DVD he watches on silent I thought "I would be missing so much if I still drove that little sports car." 

I feel very at peace with where my life is right now.  I can't remember the last time I felt that way.  I will take the lame minivan (which I don't care who you are, it's awesome) and my old boots and clothes off the bedroom floor if it means I get to spend each day with my boys.  I am blessed. 

Monday, November 18, 2013

Meals for this week (11/18)

Everyone that knows me knows I am probably one of the least organized people ever.  My house is almost always cluttered, but clean.  I WANT to be organized, I am just not very good at it.

One thing I do stay organized with are meals for the week (or more.)  Joe gets paid every 2 weeks and since Dawson was born we backed up our once a week shopping to every 2 weeks.  Our budget every two weeks is $150-$175.  I make a list of meals on the back of my grocery list, usually 7-9 dinners and a few easy peasy "uh oh" meals for those days that either get really busy or I forget :) 

This weeks meals look like this

Scrambled eggs & fruit
Yogurt and fruit
Homemade Muffins (still to be determined what kind!)
Toast & fruit
Waffles & frozen fruit

Tuna sandwiches & fruit or yogurt
Turkey & cheese sticks with ritz crackers & applesauce
Leftovers from dinner
Mac and cheese with ham & fruit
English muffins (made with various toppings)
Chicken quesadilla & fruit

Chicken burgers & baked beans
Cornbread waffles & chili
Pork tenderloin & apple-filled acorn squash
Crockpot Pepper steak & egg noodles (homemade freezer meal)
Flank steak stir fry
Chicken cordon bleu & salad
Pesto Tilapia, pasta or quinoa, & frozen veggies in butter garlic sauce

For breakfast and lunch we seem to "wing it" a lot but I am trying to make that a bit more organized so Dawson will know what to expect.  I recently discovered as we were eating at IHOP that he makes a decision much faster if he has a picture of it to look at.  I may start cutting pictures from magazines to make a visual menu for him.  We shall see :) 

Sunday, November 17, 2013

Post-partum Depression

I have been doing some reflecting on the last few years.  Putting Dawson into a big boy room made me realize today that I won't ever rock him in his rocking chair again.  It brought tears to my eyes.  The funny thing is not long ago rocking him in that chair brought me to tears also, but they were tears of misery.

I first knew something was wrong in the hospital after Dawson was born.  Now that I can look back, I think I was in shock.  I have told my therapist that when he was born I felt like I had lost him.  This baby I sat looking at was beautiful, but I couldn't identify him as the baby I was carrying for 9 months.  He was a stranger to me.  I was numb.  

I went on living and feeling this way until Dawson was 4 months old, when I knew deep down that something was very wrong.  I wanted to run away.  I kept thinking I had made a huge mistake and that having children was not for me.  I kept it to myself because I felt extreme guilt over these feelings.

  I called my OBGYN just after Dawson turned 4 months old and the nurse treated me like I was making a mountain out of a molehill. I never actually spoke to the doctor, but I was prescribed 50mg of zoloft per day and told to follow up in 2months.  I took the medication for the 2 months. At this point between everything that happened during my pregnancy with my OB, my lack of medical insurance, and my guilt, and the fact that the medication was doing nothing, I decided not to follow up.  I did go to therapy once every 2 weeks for a while though. 

I slipped further and further after this.  Every day was like that movie Groundhog's Day.  I didn't want to be left alone at all.  By Dawson's first Christmas I was crying almost daily, wanting to sleep all the time and yet dealing with extreme insomnia and panic attacks.  I was just going through the motions of day to day life.

Just after Christmas Joe told me he thought there was something wrong, that I wasn't myself.  This was all it took for the walls to come down and I melted.  I was just a shell of who I once was and I knew it.  I agreed to go see a new doctor and try again to get rid of this ugly beast.  I felt like it was too late, no one was going to believe this was post partum depression when Dawson was already a year old.  

I met a wonderful doctor in February and she gave me medication for my panic attacks, my insomnia, and an antidepressant.  It was trial and error.  I tried many medications with little to no success.  The only medication that worked at all had such horrible side effects that I didn't want to live that way any more than I wanted to live my life with post partum depression and anxiety.  

I read a lot of books, but sadly there are not many about post partum depression.  Sleepless Days by Susan Kushner Resnick helped me the most.  I wasn't the only person who felt like this and there was
hope! I highly recommend it if you think you might have post partum depression.

We bought a house last year and moved in almost a year ago exactly.  At that point my doctor told me she couldn't help me and that I needed to see a psychiatrist.  I was really scared to tell someone else my story, but seeing a psychiatrist was the best thing that happened.  I was again put on some different medication for my anxiety and depression.

Getting better didn't happen over night.  It took several months to adjust to the medication and to get a good relationship with a new therapist.  I was now in the hands of people that deal with women in my position all the time.  

I can proudly say that as of June of this year I am off my anti anxiety medication, I sleep through the night on my own without medication and I can't imagine my life without Dawson in it.  I still feel some guilt about how much I feel like I missed the first 2 years but I know that wasn't me.  I was sick.  I still take my antidepressant and I have no plans to give it up.

I will never be who I was before I had Dawson.  I used to think that was a bad thing.  Now I see that it is just different, not bad.  I wouldn't be the mom I am today if I hadn't gone through the hell that is post partum depression.  
He is my life.  There's no better reminder than when I whisper "I love you booboo" and I get back "I lub loo too, mommy." 

Rough day and it's only 1pm

I am having the hardest time today keeping my hands out of my hair.  Trichotillomania should go on vacation sometimes.   I need a vacation from thinking about it. 

Usually weekends I do pretty well because Joe is home.  Sometimes I wonder if he gets sick of saying "Kate, stop." Being alone is one of my biggest triggers.  On some subconscious level I pull far less if I am with someone than without.  I wish this extended to Dawson because I am with him 90 percent of my day.   

Sometimes I feel really annoyed or angry that I have to be so mindful.  That's what helps the most, making sure I am aware.  Or busy.  Being busy sure does help.  I am busy a lot but not in the way a working mother is.  There are lots of times spent on the floor driving trains and construction equipment.. with my hands in my hair, pulling pulling pulling.  Trichotillomania consumes so much of my daily life and it's just flat frustrating.  I am really trying to accept that it's just the way it's going to be to a certain extent for the rest of my life.  

Today I am determined to make the rest of the day productive in some way and NOT pull.  Maybe I will even take a nap :) 

Saturday, November 16, 2013

My baby is growing up..

Today is so bittersweet, and not just because we spent an arm and a leg at IKEA and it looks like we didn't buy much.  My baby boy is no longer in a crib.

Joe and I lived in a 650 square foot one bedroom apartment when Dawson was born, so of course decorating a nursery was not happening.  At first I really wanted him to have the perfect magazine spread looking toddler room.  As we got to shopping I realized I wanted him to be able to pick his own things out, and it's good for me to learn to let go of some control.  My anxiety primarily revolves around control and procrastination so really this will be a good lesson for me too.  Besides, it's his bedroom, not mine.  Eventually I can decorate a nursery anyway.

The before:

Dawson now has a twin mattress on the floor with fuzzy Thomas the tank engine sheets and a rocket ship duvet cover.  The boy lives for rocket ships.  There are some new books in a little bin on the floor (along with the old ones) and some fluffy pillows to cuddle up in.  The closet doors are locked with cabinet locks and there are giant boxes over his outlets.  Don't ask Joe how awesome the outlet covers are.. they took a while.  He has a new nightlight that's rechargeable as well and changes colors too! 

The bed was instantly a big hit once we got it upstairs.  He was really unhappy about us not putting the crib back together at first and I was starting to worry.  It was tough to get him downstairs for dinner once we got the mattress in there.

The after:

We will see how tonight goes.  I am hopeful that he will be that kid that won't get out of his bed, but I am not holding my breath.  Fingers crossed :) 

In a couple of weeks his treehouse bed arrives.  Grandma Rebecca bought it for him and when I showed him the picture online he said "Me get in it, mama! It's a house!" I'm pretty excited about it too! It's an awesome bed! As a result his room is pretty bare right now (nothing on the walls) so the pictures here are an unfinished product! 

I will update in a few days how he adjusts! 

Thursday, November 14, 2013

I am getting desperate

First, therapy was canceled but I got my car back! Woohoo! The outcome is a post for another day.. grumble grumble.

I am getting really desperate with Dawson's food choices as of late.  I swore I would never be that mother that makes 300 different dinners, none of which for herself. 

 This is what he ate for lunch.. The picture of nutritious, right?

Peanut butter and saltine crackers

Dinner I feel like I have a decent amount of control over.  Dawson has whatever I make, a vegetable, and sometimes fruit.  If he finishes it or eats at least the majority of what he is given, he can have something like crackers, pirates booty, goldfish, or graham crackers.  He knows he has to at least try everything on his plate but if he doesn't like it, it's okay not to eat it.  If I know we are having something he doesn't like, he usually has a Gerber toddler meal or something equally easy to fix.  

Breakfast and lunch are another story.  He has a snack drawer in the kitchen that has mostly healthy snacks.  He goes to the drawer every morning wanting something out of it.  Only REALLY unhealthy thing in there is unfrosted strawberry pop tarts (I see you judging me! Daddy eats them so of course Dawson wants them too.). Naturally that's what he usually wants.  Probably once a week he gets his way.  I offer to fix him eggs, waffles, pancakes, or toast and he refuses.  Yogurt, bananas, muffins, cereal, and apples are ALWAYS in our house.  Usually he will decide on something and then once he has it he takes two bites and says "Want sumpin else to eat, mommy." If I give in and get him something else, it's like we just rinse and repeat the previous routine.  Lunch is the same.  It usually ends with a very cranky kid and a frustrated mama.  

Short of planning out his breakfast and lunch like I do dinner, I'm not sure what else to do? Does anyone else struggle with this, or is it just me?!

New car? Nightmare.

I never thought I would say I miss my Honda Accord but here I am.  I still love my new Odyssey of course but everything that has happened in the last month is making me a little crazy (short road, I know.)

 My NEW minivan now sits at The Honda dealership being diagnosed.  Except of course now that it's there, they can't seem to get it to act up at all.  Since it's a new car they contacted Honda corporate to see if anyone else had reported the same issue and JUST my luck, no one has.  So they are driving it around some more trying to get the error lights to come on.  It makes me a little sick to know that even after this I have to take it to get the body damage fixed.  It sure would be nice to open my back hatch though!

  I know I probably sound ungrateful at this point, but not having a car makes me feel... trapped.  I really am grateful to get to drive a new car (or really any car at all.) Joe works his butt off so I can not only have everything I need but things I want too.  I guess I just like things to go smoothly and this is a very small bump in the road.  My anxiety over such things gets the best of me sometimes.  You would think having a child would have taught me to EXPECT things to go wrong! :) 

Dawson and I are getting cabin fever, but we will survive! I do get to get out of the house tonight for therapy, so that's good.  I feel encouraged by the last few weeks regarding my hair.  As much stress as I have been under, I am still keeping a handle on my pulling and I have a lot of new growth, especially up top.  The cold season is obviously beneficial to me with all of my hats and gloves.  I am still having bad days but they are no longer outweighing the good.  Baby steps.. 

Wednesday, November 13, 2013

Raspberry Banana Bread

Three horribly over ripe bananas sitting in my kitchen.  Time to bake! Plus, I told Joe I was going to use them to bake when he wanted to throw them away so then I pretty much HAD to.  :)

I looked on Pinterest and didn't find anything that looked great and then my app kept spitting out errors so I decided I would look up a recipe the old fashioned way- in a cook book.  I rarely use my cookbooks anymore but I really wanted to bake! 

I found a recipe for raspberry banana quick bread in a book I have had for forever (Best of Country Breads) and I about croaked when I saw the amount of sugar and oil in it.  I decided I could alter the recipe and make it at least a little healthier.  Here's what I came up with.


2 cups all purpose flour
1 1/4 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon salt
3 over ripe bananas (medium sized), mashed 
3/4 cup agave nectar
1/3 cup water
2 eggs
1 teaspoon vanilla
1 1/2 cups raspberries
1/3 cup pecans or walnuts, chopped
Cooking spray

I made this in 4 mini loaf pans but you can also use two 8x4 inch loaf pans.  Spray them with your cooking spray and turn your oven on to 350 degrees. 

In a large mixing bowl combine the flour, baking soda, and salt.  Just a tip- when mixing dry ingredients a whisk works wonderfully! In another bowl mix together the bananas, agave nectar, water, eggs, and vanilla.  Pour your banana mixture into the flour mixture.   Fold in fresh or frozen raspberries and nuts.  

Pour into your pans and bake at 350 degrees- 30-35 minutes for mini loaf pans, 55-60 minutes for 8x4s.  Let them sit for 10-15 minutes in the pan and then remove and let cool.  

I hope Dawson likes these.  I am not usually a huge fan of banana bread in general but the raspberries really make this yummy.  

Mission accomplished! Bananas are gone.  Now I just have to figure out what to do with the rest of my pumpkin! 

Tuesday, November 12, 2013


Trichotillomania. I suffer with it.  Daily.  By the minute sometimes.

I feel like not enough people know about this disorder.  Why do I say that? Because I am often asked "Why don't you just stop?" Well gee, I hadn't thought of THAT.  Believe you me, if I could "just stop" I would.  

Here is wikipedia's definition:
Trichotillomania (pronounced /ˌtrɪkəˌtɪləˈmniə/ trik-ə-til-ə-may-nee, also known astrichotillosis) is the compulsive urge to pull out (and in some cases, eat) one's own hair leading to noticeable hair loss, distress, and social or functional impairment. It is classified as an impulse control disorder by DSM-IV and is often chronic and difficult to treat.[1

I've had this for a very long time.  Almost 20 years.  I have had periods of "remission" but as of right now, I am not at that place.  

I recently had someone ask me if I do this in front of Dawson and the answer is yes.  It's such an integrated part of my behavior and so hard to resist that I do.  I also know of some trichotillomania sufferers that worry their children will follow along in their footsteps.  I worry about that some, but I recently realized that I am teaching him that it's okay to have flaws.  No one is perfect.  I struggle and that's okay. 

I try to remind myself daily that it's JUST hair.  Today, Dawson saw an old picture of me on my iPad and he said "that's mama.  Mama pretty hair."  Not going to lie, that stung. My hair was pretty.  I used to love hearing "oh look at all those curls! He must have gotten those from you!" I am not really sure why, but it made me feel good.  

I am in therapy and working really hard to un-learn this.  But in the meantime it has taught me to look at people in a different way.  I try very hard not to judge someone because I simply don't KNOW how they struggle.  That lady in the grocery store with 2 different shoes on and a dirty sweatshirt? Maybe her washing machine is busted.  Maybe she is running out to get her sick kid some medicine and she was just hurrying. Maybe she suffers with depression and she just didn't care today.  I just really don't know.  I hope I can teach Dawson to practice this as well.  I know when I was a kid I could have used more understanding eyes and ears. 

Monday, November 11, 2013

Veteran's Day

Image provided by

Today is Veteran's Day.  First, I just want to say thank you to all those who have served, or are currently serving.  I am very thankful. 

A friend posted on Facebook today about when her son joined the Marines and as a mother her worry.  This hit home in a different way for me.  I had never thought about Veteran's Day thinking about my child going into the military.  I have family that has served and is serving, but the thought of a mother watching her son or daughter enlist was very powerful.  It really put the sacrifice right in my face.  Obviously Dawson is only 2, but as I watch him play with his front loader toy on the floor, I think to myself "how would I ever let him go?"  I sit in awe when I think about the families that have a loved one that serves our country.  

I don't have to deal with my baby leaving me any time soon, but someday I will have to.  And if he chooses to join the military, I will worry.  That's my job.  You can be sure I will be proud though.  

Friday, November 8, 2013

Big boy bed!

Joe's 3 day trip turned into an all week trip but he will be home today! I'm excited to see him, I haven't slept well all week and it just doesn't feel right without him here.

Speaking of not sleeping well, I think it's time to get Dawson into a big boy bed.  His crib turns into a toddler bed but I think we would be better off to just go to a twin mattress on the floor, since he does so poorly with transitions.  Plus if anything looks different we automatically have a major freak out about it being "brokeded." We have the boxes to go over his outlets and thank goodness we have a video monitor that we can pan and zoom (thank you Summer brand!) I think I would like to get him a night light and I have also been debating on what to do about his music.  He sleeps with music on every night but his CD player is dying and sometimes doesn't work.  He doesn't seem to really care what kind of music is on, so maybe a clock radio would work.

We also need to move the glider rocker out of his room.. I have to really sell this because he loves to sit in it with me or Joe.  I am hoping to build a reading corner with some new books on some shelves. I am praying he will be excited about that.

I can't believe he will be 3 in February.  Dawson has grown so much in the last 6 to 8 months that it's just nuts.  When we went to the doctor on Wednesday he was 40 inches tall and 35.5 lbs! I have been really procrastinating putting his baby blankets and bibs away.  It is just so bittersweet.  I love to see him grow up but it feels like it's going too fast.  I think I am in denial.

Where is the pause button?!

Wednesday, November 6, 2013

Flu shot or not?

Yesterday was a wasted day taking my car in.. I have to take it back next week.  They wanted to keep it a couple of days and give me a honda cr-z for a rental car, because that's totally car seat friendly.  (Insert eye roll here)

Anyway Dawson and Grandma K were at Kohl's scoping toys out while I got an estimate for body damage.  $1044.68.  Thankfully State Farm will be taking care of that bill.  After we left there we decided to get some lunch at Red Robin.  Dawson was just really snotty and his cough sounded worse so I made him an appointment for this morning with his doctor.  The poor kid has been sick more on than off for 6 weeks.  Sure enough he has a sinus infection.  Poor little guy.  Grandma bought him this cool new toy and that sure made him happy.

 I was going to ask about a flu shot but forgot.  I haven't gotten one since I was pregnant with him but I rarely get sick.  Dawson had one last year but not yet this year.  I'm trying to decide whether or not to get it for him.

How do you feel about the flu shot? Worth it or no?

Tuesday, November 5, 2013

Saving a few dollars

Who doesn't want to save money, right? Especially with Christmas quickly approaching.  Here are the top 5 ways I save money.

1. Have leftover meat from dinner? Freeze it and use it for another meal! (I use frozen leftover meat for a new meal about twice a week!)

2. Swagbucks.  It's free, and it works.  Even if all you do are polls, surveys and NOSOs. If you like to surf the internet and/or shop online- even better!  Check it out here!

3. Use cash for everything and save coins. Joe and I have a change jar and so does Dawson.  Quarters go into ours usually and pennies, nickels, and dimes go into Dawson's. He LOVES to feed his piggy bank! It's a nice bonus savings account.

4. If you like the finer things in life, or maybe you are a shopaholic try buying clothing online at places like Twice.

5. Join Amazon Mom and sign up for Subscribe and Save for things like diapers, wipes, laundry detergent, toilet paper, etc.  More than 5 subscriptions gives you an extra 20 percent off!

How do you save money?

Monday, November 4, 2013

Yep, feels like Monday

Joe just left for 3 days for work.  Dawson is sick as a dog.  My house is a disaster.  All I can say is thank goodness for Grandma K.  She will be here this afternoon and that always seems to perk Dawson up a little.  Oh, and I haven't managed to get coffee yet because Dawson is glued to me.  When does Grandma get here again? Ha!

Tomorrow my minivan goes in for repair.  I wish I could say it was going in for the dent my neighbor put in it but no, that's not it.  Instead it's for a bunch of lights coming on & screwing up my gas mileage.  Sometimes I think technology is a curse.  The front collision warning light, vehicle stability control, and lane departure warning lights keep coming on.  Sadly this started happening with only 800 miles on it.  To top it off, one month to the day after I bought it, my neighbor smashed it up.   First world problems, I know, but I hadn't even made the first (outrageous) payment yet.  Now I just have to convince State Farm that the value has been diminished because it has been in an accident.  All of this is just such a hassle.  I wish she had hit my old car.

Okay seriously.. I have to get coffee..

Sunday, November 3, 2013

I live such an exciting life

Here I sit on a Sunday afternoon while Dawson sleeps.  He caught some kind of nasty cold and the poor kid can't seem to get enough sleep.

Anyway, Joe and I had our satellite tv suspended to try out huluplus, Netflix, and amazon prime streaming about a month ago.  So far no regrets! We have been spending evenings and nap time when possible, watching Revolution on netflix.  Now I have to say I would so NOT watch this show if I had to wait week to week for a new episode.  On Netflix it's even better than having tv shows recorded on the DVR.  I am sold! Our satellite tv used to cost around $150 a month with showtime and when we bought my awesome new car (mommy chic.. The minivan) we decided to cut some costs that just really aren't needed.  Needless to say, tv was the first to change.

Anyway, Revolution reminds me a little of Fringe but more on the this-could-really-happen line of things.  It's about the DoD releasing something that causes the power to go out.  15 years later the United States no longer exhists and there's war.  It doesn't take long to get to the point but there are a lot of flashbacks and you find yourself thinking "why is this important?" It might take several episodes to figure that out.  Hence why I say I wouldn't watch if it wasn't on Netflix.

Here is the link to NBC for more info Revolution.  Check it out!

I feel sort of lame that this is what Sundays have become but I love my little family.  Sometimes I don't even know what we did before Dawson.

Saturday, November 2, 2013

Where do I start?

A little introduction.  I'm Dawson's Mom (obviously, right? like you hadn't figured that out..).  I'm also a wife, a daughter, a sister, and a daughter-in-law.  I'm a stay at home parent that often gets asked questions like "what do you DO all day?!" which, for those of you who don't know, makes a stay at home parent want to punch you! :)

I enjoy spending time with my family most out of everything that I do.. but I also like to cook, paint, create things that I can say "hey I made that!" about, challenge our monthly budget, shop (much to my husband's dismay!) and run.

Dawson is almost 3 and full of energy, which makes Mom NOT so full of energy.  We're in the process of potty training (ask me another day how awesome this is going) and working on not getting sick every other week.  He amazes me and frustrates me on almost an hourly basis (okay, he frustrates me more often than that.. but he's 2! What do I expect?!)

I'm often sleep deprived and never in the physical shape that I desire. However, I have my family and I am happy! Overall, I just can't complain.