Friday, June 27, 2014

31 weeks and the official GD diagnosis

Pregnant with gestational diabetes

31 weeks and officially a gestational diabetic.. Again.  

I think I mentioned before that my OB practice when I had Dawson was completely incompetent. They realized at nearly 36 weeks pregnant that I hadn't passed my 1 hour glucose test and put me through the hell of the 3 hour glucose test at 37 weeks (seems a bit late, no?) and then when I failed that, labeled me a gestational diabetic but never treated me OR Dawson like we had it.  Anyway, I didn't really know what it was like to go through the last couple of months being treated.   As a result, this is all new and scary.. but I was expecting it.. Well, some of it.  

I've been busting my ass to keep my numbers after breakfast, lunch, and dinner under control.  This week I finally figured out the key to my fasting number being good was to skip a snack at night and have a scoop of peanut butter instead.  But my meal numbers were just not coming down, no matter what.

 I was sent to the moderate/high risk OB today and also to have a growth ultrasound to check to see how this has all been on Halle.   First, she's fine.  She's about 3 pounds 14 ounces which is the 44th percentile.  Her kidneys have nearly resolved the dilation, but it looks as if her choroid plexus cysts are still there.  There was no comment on that from the doctor.  Fluid looks good, she has hair, she's head down, and she's very, very wiggly!  I've been put on Glyburide twice a day to control my sugars and I'll have to go for weekly appointments to monitor her and my numbers.  If the medication works, I can continue to see my midwife for this.  Huge relief.  I spent an hour in therapy on Wednesday crying because I knew this was all coming and I was scared to switch doctors.  

Halle will be born before 39 weeks or I'll be induced.  I honestly don't care at this point.  I feel like I can't have any expectations about this pregnancy because not much has been easy about it.  

Next appointment is July 3rd.  By then we will know if the meds are working! 

How far along? 31 weeks 3 days pregnant.. Baby is the size of a pineapple! 

Weight gain? My weight at the midwife Wednesday was +15 lbs! Still gaining! But doctor says this is a great weight gain thus far.  

Belly button? Its in when I sit in certain positions but mostly poking out.  So weird.  

Wedding rings on or off? Took them off this week.. Had a hard time getting them off, I was a little panicked! Wearing them on a chain around my neck.  I feel naked. 

Movement? Tons of movement.  She is SO active. I feel like my belly is bruised from the inside out as a result.  

Maternity clothes? Yep.. Already uncomfortable in pants.  Time for some new dresses I think.  

Symptoms? Feeling? My left hip is KILLING me.  There is no comfortable chair or position.   Rib seems to be in a constant muscle cramp lately.. Goes with the new leg, foot, and arm cramps I'm getting on the regular.  My nose is still really messed up. 

Mood? Tired, still.  It's been a stressful week.  I've cried a lot.  Not coping great but I have my therapy appointments scheduled out for a month to help me with some coping strategies.  I can't change what's happening but I can change how I deal and cope with it all. 

Missing? Exercise, baked goods, putting on pants without sitting down.  Climbing the stairs without stopping to catch my breath.  

Looking forward to? 3D ultrasound scheduled for Monday! Very excited!  It was fun to see her moving today but I know it will be much more awesome to see it in something other than 2D :)

Sleep?  I don't even want to talk about sleep.  To say it sucks would be a huge understatement.   This has actually gotten even worse this week.  

Exercise? No, none of that going on.  I took my fitbit off because I was feeling so awful, it seemed pointless.  I will put it back on when my dizziness and nasal congestion let up. (Same this week... Not sure the fitbit will actually go back on) 

Any cravings? Fruit, donuts, cake, panera, and everything "forbidden" basically.  Gestational diabetes is a little like torture sometimes. 

Food aversions? Fried foods.  Anything greasy pretty much.  Vegetables.. Some, anyway.  Eggs.  Pretty sick of lunch meat too. 

Until next week! 

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Tuesday, June 24, 2014

Trichotillomania, my hair pulling update

Shaved head for trich
(If you follow me on Instagram or Twitter you probably have already seen this!)

I haven't updated in a while on my trichotillomania progress...  Or lack thereof.  Probably because I don't want to.  I write it out and realize I'm in the same place I was 18 months ago and that stings.  I know how easily that 18 months struggling with trichotillomania can turn into 10 years.  I've done that before.

  I haven't been doing well at all curbing my urges and avoiding triggers.  I will say my pulling I've done in the last few months is 90 percent conscious.  I feel like I'm lacking the motivation to stop.  I try not to compare trichotillomania to any other struggle, because it's unique, but I feel like one day pull free is kind of a load of crap.  One day pull free shows no progress, like going to the gym for one day.  You aren't going to see results.  It really takes a lot of self discipline to stop pulling long enough to see progress.  It reminds me so much of trying to lose weight or put on muscle, only you can't relapse and gain 40 pounds back in one day, but you certainly can pull out all your hair in just an afternoon.  

About a week ago I had enough.  I went to Target, bought a set of clippers, and cut everything off.  I have to say that first day it's gone is like this huge relief, a big weight off your shoulders.  A few days later when I'm desperately trying to pull, it hits me.  I let trichotillomania win again.  I wish I could say I don't feel that way, but I do.  I have to go through the painful, hard process of trying to get passed that inbetween grow out stage that is so damn tempting to me.   I have come to the terms with the fact that I will probably never be one of those people that is "pull free" and I'm okay with that. 

I do actually feel like my hair looks better when it's shorter, but it makes me feel like I have to compensate with make up and nail polish to feel more feminine.  Pregnancy is giving me some body image complexes as it is, this was just icing on the cake.  I'm trying very hard to not let my trich take any good feelings I have about myself away.  

Given all this, I have a wonderful support system.  I couldn't ask for a more supportive husband and family.  They back me up no matter the decision I make.  I feel really fortunate for this.  I know there are so many people out there that have families that don't make them feel the best at their worst.  My family, if anything, is the opposite.


I'm hoping this fresh start makes it easier to move forward.  I don't have super high hopes, but I always have the clippers now.  

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Thursday, June 19, 2014

30 weeks pregnant!

30 weeks pregnant
2nd baby
30 weeks pregnant! In the homestretch! Sort of.. 

I battled the sinus congestion last week, and ended up on an antibiotic for a sinus infection and double ear infection.  Ouch.  I just finished that yesterday and I'm still struggling, but I think it's allergies.  I typically have this problem this time of year where my body just can't keep up and I end up on prednisone for a week.  I am going back to the doctor this afternoon, so we shall see.  They haven't exactly been excited to give me anything (including the antibiotic) but I'm prepared to pitch a fit.. If this doesn't get taken care of, I'll just have another sinus infection.  I'm tired of not feeling well!  

I went to my 2 hour class at the diabetes center last week and got everything I needed.  Can I just say being diabetic is expensive?  Not only were 6 weeks supply of strips for the meter $50 AFTER my insurance paid, but I had to go grocery shopping specifically for snacks and veggies and whatnot that I could actually choke down eat.  My wallet isn't exactly happy.  

I had my routine 30 week appointment yesterday with my midwife and Halle is hanging out sideways in my belly.  I'm not worried though, Dawson took a while to turn head down.  Heck, I don't really even care if I get another vaginal birth.  I'm just so over being pregnant.  I know that sounds awful, but it's true.  She wasn't happy about my blood sugars the last week but the OB assisting her said they may be elevated because of my antibiotics.  I don't think so, just based on what I saw in relation to what I was eating, but I guess we will see.  I'll be continuing to test my blood sugar 4 times a day for the next week and then have a follow up.  If they still look bad, I'll have to be transferred to the OB practice.  So, for the next week, things are kind of up in the air.  I was also spilling a little protein into my urine yesterday, and that's never happened at another appointment.  Nothing to be alarmed about as far as she said.  

Otherwise it's been a very uneventful week.  We spent the weekend at home for me to recover and Joe to relax.  Dawson has discovered Mr. Rogers and Reading Rainbow on his kindle and I think it's adorable.  I'm hoping to get a chair or something out front soon so we can play in the sun, even if I don't have much energy.  

How far along? 30 weeks 2 days pregnant.. Baby is the size of a cucumber!  One of those English cucumbers I guess? 

Weight gain? My weight at the midwife yesterday was a +13 pounds! Looks like I'm picking up the weight gain.   My scale says +11.  

Belly button? Its going to pop out, any day now.  

Wedding rings on or off? Still on! But having some swelling so I think I better take them off.. 

Movement? Tons of movement.  She's started kicking me in my cervix A LOT.  Makes me instantly grab myself like a little kid that needs to pee and bend over.  Instant reflex I guess, because it really doesn't help with the pain! 

Maternity clothes? Yep.. Already growing out of a lot of them.  I really don't want to buy anything else though.    

Symptoms? Feeling? Okay physically.  My rib is bothering me this week but nothing I can't handle.  My hips and the pelvic pressure are at an all time high right now, so that sucks.  My midwife offered physical therapy but to be honest, I can't handle any more appointments so I'll just deal.  I have people to help me and I'm trying to learn how to navigate some tasks differently.  I have no energy this week and I'm winded and dizzy at the drop of a hat. 

Mood? Tired.  Did I mention tired?  Yet I know I'll be 100 times more tired when she's here.  A little weepy lately.  Sometimes for a reason, sometimes just because.  Therapy is next week and it can't come fast enough. 

Missing? Exercise, real medications (Tylenol is a joke), junk food, and alcohol.  

Looking forward to? Finally have an ultrasound scheduled for July 15th.  Also, Joe and I are trying to fudge some money to do the 3D ultrasound.. I think even if money has to come from savings we will do it because it was so special to us with Dawson.  There has to be some light in this pregnancy.  Oh! And we are doing some baby clothes shopping this weekend! Excited about that! 

Sleep?  I don't even want to talk about sleep.  To say it sucks would be a huge understatement. 

Exercise? No, none of that going on.  I took my fitbit off because I was feeling so awful, it seemed pointless.  I will put it back on when my dizziness and nasal congestion let up. (Same this week..) 

Any cravings? Fruit, cake, icecream.. Anything I'm not supposed to have, really.  

Food aversions? Fried foods.  Anything greasy pretty much.  Bacon, specifically.  Eggs, which is a bummer because they are a great source of protein and they keep my blood sugar down.  I'm attempting to get creative with them.  

Until next week! 

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Tuesday, June 17, 2014

Win an amazon gift card!

What's your favorite thing about the 4th of July?  Sverve wants to know! Enter to win an amazon gift card.  It's as easy as pinning your favorite thing about the 4th of July to Pinterest! Click on the picture below for more details and to enter the sweepstakes!

Here's my favorite thing about the 4th!

Win an amazon gift card

Homemade Potato Salad! Although I am spoiled and I get it whenever I get up off my lazy butt to make it. 4th of July just seems to scream BBQ, potato salad, mac salad.. All that good stuff!

So get your buns over there and enter! It only takes a minute! :)

**Disclosure: This is a sponsored post.  I will be compensated per entry. **

Monday, June 16, 2014

Frugal Grocery Shopping

Frugal grocery shopping sounds easier than it actually is.  Especially if you are like me and don't want to take the time to clip coupons.  It IS possible to be budget-friendly and skip the coupons. There's a little work that goes into it, but it's worth it! Here's how I do it! 

We budget about $300-$320 a month on groceries.  I do a combination of shopping at Costco (for staple items like bread, fruit, sale items, etc) and Safeway, except for big meat trips, which I tend to do at Winco about once every 3 months. That is another added cost but I sometimes don't even have to do it, depending on how awesome the sales are at Safeway (or how lucky I get with the clearance bin!) 

Meal Plan and Make a List
Take note of what you DO have in your pantry and fridge, surf Pinterest (I love Pinterest for this! Follow me here!) and try to double up ingredients.  Say you are having breakfast for dinner one night and you will buy bacon.  Why not have BLT's one night too? Or a pasta dish that you can use leftover bacon in? I know, leftover bacon.. Blasphemy!  I sit down and write out a not-so-organized list of breakfasts, lunches, and dinners for 7-10 days at a time. I also try to include whatever Joe is taking for lunch that week, and any baked goods I'll make for snacks and dessert. This is usually what it looks like.

Meal planning

 My grocery list is usually right underneath, and I rip it off before I go to the store.   Meal planning is a huge part of being frugal, I think.  It prevents so many "eh screw it" moments because you aren't sure what to cook. 

Use grocery coupon apps
I usually have this open while I'm meal planning.  I just use the Safeway app.  I really love that there are almost always free offers (who doesn't love free food?!) and it narrows most things down to what my cost will be.  I'm no super mom, and remembering whether 50 cents off that package of cheese is a better deal than the cheese I usually buy just doesn't work for me.  I tend to write on my list next to the item whether there was an electronic coupon on a specific brand so I can accurately compare at the store.  If you aren't sure, just add the coupon to your card anyway.  No big deal if you don't use it, but if you happen to pick up an item it applies to but weren't planning, it's like a bonus. 

Use grocery cash back apps
This usually is best if you check the app before you go grocery shopping (and again I write down on my list which items have big cash back) but it can save you a boatload if you utilize it. I use Checkout51, Ibotta, and ReceiptHog

 Checkout51 has generic items- like fruit, milk, eggs.  This means you can buy them at most any store and get cash back for it, regardless of brand.  It's not a lot, but when I stack it with the other cash back apps, I get some pretty good deals.  Plus, it's just a matter of uploading a picture of my receipt and checking off what I bought.  In one month, I've gotten $4.25 back.  

Ibotta has a lot of cash back opportunities, including apparel and home improvement stores.  I don't find that I usually claim a lot of offers, but the bonuses I get are well worth it.  Like this week all I had to do was redeem 3 offers to get an extra 50 cents.  I have a harder time with Ibotta because I'm not always sure what brand I'll buy, and the offers are brand specific.  This is another time I make a note on my list.  My list is usually kind of a mess, but I understand it :)  I've earned over $10 cash back in the last month with this app.  

ReceiptHog is really simple.  Currently I think they only give perks for grocery shopping, but it's pretty broad.  You get coins for your receipts, and feed them to the hog.  1000 coins equals $5.  I get 10-20 coins per receipt, so this is slow going.  However, you get spins on the slot machine each week that you upload a receipt that can earn you extra coins or cash.  And there's no matching offers, you simply take a picture of your receipt and you are done.  After 5 weeks of uploading at least 1 receipt per week, you go "hog wild" and you get more perks.  I'm not there yet but I'll try to update because I have no idea what that gets you! 

There are probably more apps than this, but this is what I personally use to grocery shop.  

Keep your fridge and pantry organized
I cannot stress this one enough.  It's so hard to know what you have if everything is a mess.  I can't tell you how many times I've wasted things, or bought 2 because I didn't know what I already had.  This can cost you a lot of money in the long run.  It can make frugal grocery shopping totally pointless. 

There you have it! That's all I do.  We probably don't save a ton by using the apps, but every little bit helps! 

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Tuesday, June 10, 2014

29 weeks!

Pregnancy pictures
29 weeks pregnant.. Not sure what's wrong with the color! 

29 weeks! Just 11 or so weeks to go! I've been suffering with major nasal congestion the last week+ so I spared you my open mouth swollen face picture :) I skipped a picture and update last week because I was super busy and really didn't feel well.  

We had a shower to celebrate baby girl on Saturday and I had a great time.  It was so great to see everyone and we got some great stuff! Thank you to everyone who came- I know there was a lot of traveling involved!  Unfortunately none of the pictures I took turned out at all.. I really wasn't focused on picture taking, just enjoying myself.  

We have been going back and forth about baby girl's name for a couple of months and still haven't determined what her middle name will be.  Her first name will be Halle.  Pronounced like Halle Berry.  

I never thought a middle name would be so difficult but it has proven to be tough to figure out.  When we named Dawson, we chose his middle name before his first name.  Dawson's middle name is Theon, after Joe's grandpa.  This time we decided we would use a name from my side of the family.  We narrowed it down to May or Noreen.  Joe likes May and I like Noreen.  It's not looking like it will be either one because we can't agree.  I finally put my finger on why I don't like May- it reminds me of Ellie May from The Beverly Hillbillies.  Halle May is just too close to that, too southern for me.  Joe says Noreen reminds him of Eleanor and he's NOT crazy about that.  So it looks like we may just be sitting on that for a while, or sadly, she may not end up with a family name at all.  I guess we have some time to sort it out.  Please, I know her name may not be your style, but try to be respectful that this is what we have chosen for our baby! 

Today I go to the diabetes center and take a 2 hour class and get my glucose meter.  I'll be testing my blood sugar for a week, 4 times a day.  I am pretty sure my nasal congestion has turned into a sinus infection (complete with dizziness and head ache- yay! I really should call and bug my midwife again but I keep getting blown off..) so I'm not looking forward to sitting through a 2 hour class, but I just need to get it over with.  The OB assisting my midwife wants me to test my blood sugar for 2 weeks, and then if everything looks okay, test twice daily until I deliver.  Say what? If I pass, why would I need to do that? I refused.  If things don't look good, we will go from there.  They wouldn't ask someone who passes the blood glucose tolerance test with the yucky drink to do that, so I don't see why this should be any different.  I'm a little miffed about it, but ultimately they can't make me do anything at all. 

How far along? 29 weeks pregnant.. Baby is the size of a butternut squash!

Weight gain? My weight at the midwife last week was a +8 pounds still.  No change on my scale as of today either. 

Belly button? Still looking extremely flat and deformed.  (No change there)

Wedding rings on or off? Still on! 

Movement? Lots of movement.  I'm curious to see what position she's in, because she kicks me on my right side mostly.  Or maybe she's punching? I don't know.  It's hard to tell because she rolls around so much.  

Maternity clothes? Yep.. Although it seems I've reached a point of "I don't care" at least at home because I have been wearing my pre-pregnancy t-shirts from Hawaii and just letting it hang out.  Classy, right?   

Symptoms? Feeling? Well, I feel awful but I think that's more related to my sinus issues.  My midwife suggested I buy a support belt for my grinding and clicking in my hips.  Boy, was that a mistake.  It only took about 30 minutes before it hurt so bad I had to take it off.  It seemed to make my symptoms 100 times worse.  Glad I only spent $15 on it.  I'm on Prilosec now for the reflux symptoms and that seems to be working well.  Rib pain has been off and on, but at least it's intermittent.  With Dawson I managed to make it through the entire pregnancy with no stretch marks at all (don't hate me ladies, they showed up about 3-4 days postpartum) but this time it seems I'm not so lucky.  I can see 2 pretty good sized ones down low.  I actually thought I would be upset, but I don't care.  They are worth it, and carrying a baby is no joke.  If I make it out with just a few (or a lot) of stretch marks, I'm okay with that. 

Mood? Cranky still.  No patience.  Tired of being tired, tired of feeling like crap.  I got a lot of stuff done, but I feel like there's a lot more to do.  (As I sit here blogging..)

Missing? This week I really miss exercise.  And sitting down without judging whether or not the surface is going to kill me.  I miss not worrying about what I'm eating, how much I'm drinking, etc.  

Looking forward to? Funny, I was looking forward to scheduling the ultrasound last time I wrote this, but they have backed that up yet again.  Now it's looking like 34ish weeks before we will do that.  Now I'm just looking forward to holding her.  

Sleep?  I'll sleep when I'm dead, I guess.  I have a feeling I will be able to say this for the next few years at least.  Can't breathe, can't get comfortable, can't relax, Dawson won't go to sleep.  It's always something.  

Exercise? No, none of that going on.  I took my fitbit off because I was feeling so awful, it seemed pointless.  I will put it back on when my dizziness and nasal congestion let up. 

Any cravings? Fruit! Also, the cake from the shower was delicious.  No other cravings really. 

Food aversions? Fried foods.  Anything greasy pretty much.  Bacon, specifically.  Eggs, which is a bummer because they are a great source of protein. 

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Thursday, June 5, 2014

DIY Duct Tape Ikea side table

Joe and I bought these Ikea side tables (Lack) about 3 years ago when we finally moved from our tiny 1 bedroom condo style apartment.  The idea at the time was that they were cheap and simple.  I mean, you can't really be upset when you your kid ruin a $7 table.  They have kind of traveled all over the house because they are so beat up, and I kind of hate them now as a result.

DIY duct tape crafts

I was ready to get rid of them, but decided I could re purpose them with a pretty simple DIY project.  2 rolls of decorative The Duck Brand duct tape (about $5 each)  and about 20 minutes and they are almost like new! Only prettier, of course.  And who doesn't love an easy DIY project, right?

Decorative duct tape

I laid the first strip of duct tape so it would overlap the side about 1/2 an inch.  I put strip after strip of duct tape up against one another, just smoothing with my hands, until I reached the other side.  After the top was finished, I was almost out of tape.  There was just enough to do the sides of the top, but not the legs.  Leaving the legs uncovered was fine, as they aren't really in that bad of condition.  I'm sure you could get more creative with this, maybe do some kind of pattern, but I really just wanted the scraped up tops covered! I have a little tape leftover from each roll for touch ups and accidents.. Or Dawson peeling the tape off, because I can see that happening. 

The Star Wars table will go in Dawson's room for him to play on, and the flowered table is going to the nursery to have next to the chair I will probably spend way too much time in :) I really tried to find something else for Dawson's space themed room but the Star Wars Duck Brand tape was really as close as it got.

Ikea lack side table refinish

Overall I'm very happy with the outcome of the side tables!  Have you done any Ikea makeovers? Or just furniture makeovers in general? 
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Wednesday, June 4, 2014

Toddlers, dinner, and breast pads

Dawson is such a little sponge.  I forget this so easily.  The kid can't remember where he put his toy 2 minutes ago (which starts the whining that someone STOLE it), but he hangs on to little moments that (to me) are fleeting and meaningless chatter.

Something happened yesterday at dinner that had Grandma K, Joe, and myself in tears we were laughing so hard.  For Dawson it was just an innocent moment where he had remembered something I showed him.

Several weeks ago (at least 6 to 8) I was cleaning out Dawson's old baby clothing, getting ready to donate it.  There was a lot of crap in there that didn't belong, but most of it was baby related.  At one point I found a stray breast pad, like in the picture.  He wanted to know what it was for, so I told him it was to put in Mommy's shirt so milk didn't get everywhere.  I demonstrated.  This was probably a mistake.  He let it go at that, or so I thought.

Fast forward to dinner last night, we all ordered dessert and the waitress brought Dawson a fresh spoon.  On a cute little round doily.  Do you see where this is going?

"I know just what to do!!" And before Grandma K could stop him, the doily went into his shirt.  All we could do was laugh.  It still amazes me that he remembers something that was such a small thing, and so long ago.

To top it all off, Joe says under his breath "only our kid would think that's a nipple pad.." Now, normally Dawson wouldn't have even HEARD him let alone responded, but of course, at the dinner table he blurts out "Why you say nipple pad, Daddy?"  More laughter!

I guess he really IS listening, even when we think he's not! :)

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