Sunday, March 30, 2014

18 week pregnancy update

Pregnancy bump

How far along? 18 weeks 5 days.. Baby is the size of an sweet potato!    

Weight gain? I actually have no idea.  I haven't weighed myself this week.. Again.  I'm sort of afraid to see it, preparing myself for massive weight gain. 

Belly button? Starting to look more flat and stretched.  It never popped out with Dawson so I'm pretty sure it will just become flat by summertime.  

Wedding rings on or off? Still on but I really need to hunt for my necklace..  

Movement? Oh yes.  Little girl or guy is just a wiggling away, a LOT usually late morning & late afternoon.   Been feeling him or her much more lately.  He or she seems to be enjoying having a dance party on my cervix.. Awesome. 

Maternity clothes? Yes, yes, yes! 

Symptoms? Feeling? Nausea is only hitting me on some days now, but when it does it lingers all day. I've put not only my promethazine to good use this week, but also my zofran.  Booooo.  I'm getting a little pickier about food again.. Be nice to just be able to eat whatever.  My ribs are still killing me, and it really really need to find a chiropractor that our insurance will cover this week.  I know this feeling will only get worse. My legs are also going to sleep at the drop of a hat when I sit funny.   Braxton hicks contractions hit me every single day or night now.. I'll be asking about it at my next appointment.   My nose is stuffy but im never sure if that's just my allergies or not. 

Mood? Feeling pretty good still.  I have been having days where I'm just irritable and no one can say or do anything right.. Except I know it's just me.  I'm still nesting like crazy, I am purging the houses fall kinds of crap I don't need or want.  

Missing? Alcohol.. My god, I miss it.  I am not a big drinker, really, but when the sun comes out a beer with dinner just sounds amazing.  Virgin drinks are just not the same.  Alcohol sounded so gross with Dawson.. But now I'm just wondering if that's because if was a totally different time of year.  

Looking forward to? The anatomy scan! Set for April 8th! Just a little over a week away now! I'm also looking forward to getting the nursery put together! 

Sleep? Having a lot of bad nights.  If I'm asleep, I'm having weird dreams.  I've been awake way, way too much at night though.  My nose is the biggest interference.  

Exercise? Nothing too fancy this week.  We went to the park with Kirsten and Ayla.. That was a lot of dodging running kids and keeping tabs on our kids.  Otherwise, just doing at home things is exercise at this point.  

Any cravings? Sushi, donuts, bottled water (with a sports bottle top ONLY), still smoothies for breakfast, maple cream top yogurt.. That's about it. 

Food aversions? Steak. Bacon.  Grilled chicken.  Yuck. 

I'm doing okay this week.  I've had some pretty awful days filled with nausea again but not as bad as it was.  Dawson has done really well with potty training this week and we had our first outing with big boy underwear and that went well.  My patience was wearing thin so I'm glad that we are finally somewhat on top of it.  I'm bracing myself for laundry though, because tonight he goes to bed with no diaper for the first time.  He is too reliant on a diaper at night, Joe and I both agreed as crappy as it might be (no pun intended) going diaper free is what we need to do. 

My motivation to get the house ready for this baby has gone into overdrive. It's just hit me in the last week that we will be bringing a BABY home.  This is for real.  The newborn days with Dawson were honestly one of the darkest times in my life.  I did not enjoy having a squishy itty bitty baby.  I felt completely out of control of any and every situation at that time.  I still feel that way at times now but it's infrequent.  Months of feeling like every outing was a disaster, every night meant no sleep and lots of crying, and being nothing but a milk machine to a baby was very hard.  Now of course I look at him and see how wonderful he is, even at moments that he's driving me crazy.  I'm hoping having the regular reminder that he might have been difficult, but he's better now and we share a bond that no one else knows, will help me cope with having a newborn again.. and better this time.  

Only a little over a week until we find out what this baby is!  Hopefully it will help Joe and I both bond with the baby more.  

Sunday, March 23, 2014

17 weeks (and some change) pregnancy update!

Pregnancy 17 week belly

How far along? 17 weeks 5 days.. Baby is the size of an onion!   

Weight gain? I actually have no idea.  I haven't weighed myself this week.  

Belly button? Starting to look really flat and stretched. 

Wedding rings on or off? Still on but I'll be searching for my necklace this week.. It's getting snug. 

Movement? Oh yes.  Little girl or guy is just a wiggling away, a LOT usually late morning & late afternoon. 

Maternity clothes? Yes! 

Symptoms? Feeling? Nausea every morning still but it's manageable.  I just have to make sure I take my meds at night or I regret it.  I tried to go without a couple of days and I was back to throwing up in the shower.  I've had more nausea that strikes out of the blue lately & then goes away.  Evenings have been spent in my chair with a tall glass of whatever I can stomach because Braxton hicks have kicked up pretty bad.  Rib pain.. Uuuugh the rib pain. 

Mood? Feeling a lot better emotionally.  I'm nesting like crazy and I don't have a ton of energy for it, so that's kind of driving me crazy, but over all I feel mostly level headed.  Oh, except my road rage.  It's gotten worse in the last couple of weeks.  I still drive safely obviously but my frustration level with people that drive slow, or are in my way, or just being what I think is stupid at the moment kind of sets me off. 

Missing? Exercise and alcoholic drinks.  This totally gives me a mental picture of me on the treadmill with a beer.  Haha! 

Looking forward to? The anatomy scan! Set for April 8th! 

Sleep? Having a lot of bad nights.  More than once this last week I have been up until 2:30am or later, just wide awake.  Also having trouble getting comfortable in bed to sleep with my ribs hurting and my lower back bothering me.  Might be time to go see a chiropractor. 

Exercise? Nothing too fancy.  I am out of breath at the drop of a hat so mostly slow walks in the mall or outside with Dawson.  We walked the zoo today and Joe teased me it was like walking with someone with a walker.  If I get out of breath it's bad news, so I'm playing it safe. 

Any cravings? Salt.  Still salt.. Greek salad still too.  Tzaziki and traditional gyro meat.  I actually had dreams about it this week.  Smoothies have been going down really easy for breakfast too.  I was really hooked on crunchtada tostadas at Del Taco earlier in the week but I have done a 180 on that now. 

Food aversions? Steak. Anything overly sweet.  Mexican food. 

I'm feeling pretty good this week.  I am still tired a lot but I feel so motivated to just do anything and everything this week.  I even went it my parents' house this week and took Dawson.  And I tackled potty training again (it's a work in progress) and Dawson is doing pretty well with it. Oh! I cooked this week TWICE too! Dawson ate like a pig, and it made me feel good.  He misses mama's cooking too.

My house is still kind of a disaster, although my mom did come this week and weed my front flower beds and fold laundry, clean my kitchen, and vacuum!  She is a lifesaver.  She also entertained Dawson all day Saturday so Joe and I could go to the bank to fill out some applications, and have a day to just be Joe and Katie and not Mommy and Daddy.  It was nice.  We even went and saw a movie! I had never been to a Cinetopia and I seriously don't know why we haven't spent the extra money to go there before.  I'll probably never go to a regular movie theater again.  It was glorious! 

That's all for this week :)  

Tuesday, March 18, 2014

Slow cooker Balsamic Pot Roast

Slow cooker meal
I'm cooking again!! Sort of.  Sometimes.  Putting this into the crockpot took most of my energy for the day but I had a sweet little helper, so I can't complain too much. :)

I got the original recipe off Six Sister's Stuff but altered it slightly.   Their recipe is great, but I am too pregnant/lazy/tired/insert other excuse here, to go to the store when I don't have things.  I compromised.  

My alteration of their recipe:

Slow Cooker Balsamic Pot Roast


Boneless chuck roast, 2-3 pounds
Salt, pepper, and garlic powder to season roast
3-5 carrots, peeled and cut in thirds (I used even more because we love pot roast carrots!)
3-4 ribs of celery, cut into large chunks
1 medium onion, sliced into rings
1/2 of a 6 oz can tomato paste
1/2 cup balsamic vinegar
1 packet of beef flavoring or 1 cube beef bouillon 
1 1/2 teaspoon dried thyme (I used a cube of fresh frozen)
1 teaspoon dried sage
4 cloves of garlic, minced 
2 cups water

You CAN sear the roast before you put it in your crockpot, but I personally don't.  I know people swear by it tasting better.. But this mama doesn't have that kind of time.  I usually just throw it in frozen or partially thawed.   I also use one of these bags for the crockpot (mine is a 6 quart) so I don't have to do dishes.

Season the roast with salt, pepper, and garlic powder.  You could even use something like lawry's for this step.  Throw it in the slow cooker.  Put the celery, carrots, and onion in on top.  Mix the tomato paste, vinegar, beef flavoring, thyme, sage, garlic, and water.  Pour over the top.  

You can either cook it on high for 6 hours (that's what I did) or cook it on low for 9-10 hours.  Since I rarely have it done and on the base before 10am, I usually cook it on high for a few hours and then switch it over to low.  Remember that 1 hour on the high setting equals about 2 on low.  

To make a gravy from the drippings: 

I skimmed about enough fat & juice off the top before removing the meat from my slow cooker to fill my 1 quart sauce pan about 1/3 of the way.  In a small cup I mixed 1/3 cup cold water and 2-3 tablespoons cornstarch (depending on how thick you want it.. More cornstarch makes it thicker!).  Bring the fat & juice to a boil, then add water/cornstarch mixture.  Bring to a boil again and wait for it to get nice and bubbly and thick.  Done! Super easy.  

Mine looked like this. 

This recipe turned out amazing.  I am not a gravy person (at all) but it was really delicious.  The meat was very tender and the veggies were cooked just right.  I am trying to figure out if I can find a way to freeze it all for newborn mayhem meals :)  I thought there would be plenty of leftovers but the boys gobbled up most everything!  Adding this to the rotation for sure! 

Monday, March 17, 2014

Knowing you are done, before you are there

After how rough this pregnancy has been with the hyperemesis gravidarum, Joe and I have decided we will not have any more children.  This was not a hard decision, with the events of the last 3+ months.   We knew we wanted at least 2 children before I got pregnant this time, but we were undecided on whether we would have 3.   The stress on our family has been enormous.

I have decided that I cannot be pregnant again.  My pregnancy with Dawson was not easy. I did have some issues, including some nausea and vomiting but I feel now that it was very easy in comparison.  I can honestly (and with a lot of guilt) say that I haven't enjoyed being pregnant this time.  I have been so sick, I live in fear of being sick all the time.  I miss beer and wine and forbidden foods.  I miss not worrying about my fluid intake.  I know logically that it's all for this baby, that I very much want, but I still feel resentful at times.  That's hard to admit.  It's also hard to admit that even with that beautiful prize at the end, I am not willing to go through this again, no matter what.   

I am okay with this decision.. most days.  Other days (especially if I am having a vomit free day) I feel a pang of sadness when I see other moms with more than 2.  In that moment it hits me- this is it.  Those parts of pregnancy I do enjoy (hello, basketball belly and baby kicks!) are here now and I keep thinking "this is going to be over too fast, and I will never get to experience these things again" and it brings an overwhelming sadness.  

I know that the decision to be done is what's right for me and my family but knowing we are done before we truly are, is so hard to swallow.   I can only pray that when this baby is finally here, I will feel more than 95 percent at peace with the decision.  

Thursday, March 13, 2014

16 week pregnancy update!

Yep, I totally skipped 15 weeks!  But here's a 15 week picture anyway! 

Pregnancy photos

And 16 weeks (pardon the blurry picture, my hands were shaky!)

Pregnancy 16 weeks

How far along? 16 weeks 2 days.. Baby is the size of an avocado! An orange last week.  

Weight gain? As of Tuesday I am up 4 lbs, but still down 8 lbs from my pre pregnancy weight. 

Belly button? Starting to look more shallow and flat. 

Wedding rings on or off? Still on! 

Movement? Oh yes.  Little girl or guy is just a wiggling away, especially at night before bed.  

Maternity clothes? Yes! In fact this last couple weeks I might have gone a little overboard.  I have a new pair of jeans, new shorts, a dress, 4 new nursing tops (that also work for pregnancy) and about 6 new t-shirts.  

Symptoms? Feeling? Nausea every morning still but it's manageable.  No vomiting unless I try to swallow a pill.  I'm still really tired but over all I am starting to feel much better.. As long as I take my meds! I do have a UTI this week so that sucks.  

Mood? Feeling a lot better emotionally, most days.  Not all days are great but most are pretty good.  Dawson has given me a few meltdowns that wouldn't otherwise happen and I am irritable at times but I don't feel hopeless. 

Missing? Cooking.  Exercise.  Being able to go places with Dawson and deal with a meltdown by myself (I can no longer lift his 40 lb toddler butt so easily, if at all).  Sleeping through the night without having to get up to pee. 

Looking forward to? The anatomy scan! Set for April 8th! 

Sleep? Having good nights and bad still.  It really depends on how often I have to get up to pee. 

Exercise? Nothing too fancy.  I am thinking about going to a water aerobics class but I hate going to stuff like that by myself.  I have been getting out for at least a walk probably 3 times a week.  I managed a trip to Target today with Dawson and I would consider that exercise! 

Any cravings? Salt.  Still salt.. Greek salad has been a big one this week.  I could probably just drink the dressing because that's really what I want, but I eat the salad too :) Ocean water is off the table and this week it's lemon lime kool-aid with 1/2 the amount of sugar it calls for and real fruit lime slushes from sonic.  Also, sweet tarts and French toast :) not together, haha! 

Food aversions? Steak and chicken.  Anything overly sweet or chocolatey.  

The last couple of weeks have been a huge turn around.  I am still exhausted but I feel like I am learning my triggers and doing a pretty good job of avoiding them.  I haven't thrown up at all except when trying to take pills.  Unfortunately, I am on a pill for the UTI and my first dose today is not settling super awesome.  I'm praying it stays down.  My doctor's office was pretty unwilling to put me on anything different and it's $600 to get this medication made into liquid.  Ugh.  

Dawson has been my biggest source of stress and challenge this week.  He wants to leave the house so badly,  but as soon as we are out it's like all hell breaks loose.  Yesterday he had not one, but 3 massive fits in public where I had to either pick him up (no easy task) or my mom had to drag him out of a store/area.  I can't say he's ever REALLY embarrassed me.. Until yesterday.  Most of his meltdowns are just crying and being upset like any other 3 year old would when you leave some place they want to be.  The last week or so it has morphed into not only crying but also laying on the floor and kicking and screaming and refusing to stand up and walk.  I have had some moments where I seriously ponder my ability to parent and whether or not I am doing something horribly wrong.  Even worse, I have wondered if this baby was a good idea since I can't seem to get my 3 year old under control without the distraction of a newborn.  However, our Target trip today was much better.. so I am hopeful it has more to do with him and less with me.  

Otherwise nothing too new and exciting to report! 

Sunday, March 2, 2014

Really late 14 week pregnancy update!

Pregnancy update

How far along? 14weeks 5 days.. Baby is the size of a lemon!  

Weight gain? Down about 13 lbs according to the home scale. 

Belly button? Still looks normal :) 

Wedding rings on or off? Still on! 

Movement? Nothing that I could say for sure is baby, but definitely feeling something. 

Maternity clothes? Yes! Shirts are a must this week..

Symptoms? Feeling? Nausea every morning (sometimes vomiting) and each evening but I have a good window each day from about 1pm until 6pm.  I'll take it!  Starting to feel my ribs give.  Lots of muscle rolling in my belly which isn't super comfy.  

Mood? Feeling a lot better emotionally.  I saw my therapist this week and was reminded to stop thinking negatively about how long this feeling like crap COULD last and focus more on getting through each day.  

Missing? Feeling rested.  Taking a shower with little to no effort.  Running.  Effortlessly getting on the floor to play with Dawson.

Looking forward to? My next appointment on the 11th & scheduling the anatomy scan ultrasound. 

Sleep? Having good nights and bad.  I either sleep like a rock or I toss and turn a lot.  Can't sleep on my belly at all anymore and that sucks. 

Exercise? No.  Just no.  Exercise = lose my breath super easily and uncontrollable gagging.  (I have a feeling this won't change anytime soon..) I don't have the energy to do a lot, but I have been getting out of the house a couple times a week to go for a walk in the mall or ikea, things like that. 

Any cravings? Salt.  Still salt.. Really into steak fries with loads of Red Robin seasoning.  I've also found a new safe food- refried beans.  I've eaten a lot of bean burritos this week.  I managed to go out for sushi this week (and enjoy it!) and On The Boarder! Drinks are iced tea and ocean water from Sonic. 

Food aversions? Most foods still.  Anything too sweet sounds awful or tomato based things. 

This new liquid promethazine has been a miracle drug for me.  I take it mostly at night and it seems to shape the following day for me.  It makes me really sleepy and drunk feeling so I have to have someone here if I take it during the day.  I've really had a pretty good week other than feeling very very tired.  I am trying to remind myself that I haven't had a lot of nutrition and barely enough fluids to keep me going lately so of course I'm going to be exhausted.  Doing simple things is still hard.   I'm doing my best to sneak naps when I can but most of the time I don't manage that so I try to get into bed a little earlier.  Otherwise I am just chugging along!