Wow do I suck at keeping up with this..
How far along? 20 weeks 3 days.. Baby is the size of a banana!
Weight gain? According to the scale at my midwife's office, I have officially hit my pre pregnancy weight again! So I guess that makes me at a +0.
Belly button? Starting to look more flat and stretched, but in a weird way. Hard to explain, I'll spare you the details.
Wedding rings on or off? Still on. Finding it hard to part with. I feel naked without my wedding rings on.
Movement? Lots and lots. I told Joe last week that I thought this baby was less active than Dawson, because I had specific times of the day I felt movement but I'm now eating those words. It's like a 24/7 party in there.
Maternity clothes? Yes, yes, yes! Now that we are getting warmer weather I'm going to have to get some more shorts and dresses.
Symptoms? Feeling? Nausea comes and goes still. Having about half good days, half bad. On the bad days I have zero appetite and on the good I have very specific cravings. My ribs hurt, bad enough that I made a chiropractor appointment (it's next Monday). My muscles at the top of my belly are starting to give me a hard time. With Dawson I damaged a nerve and the whole top of my belly went numb, I've never gotten the sensation back there.. But this time it's more of a popping and it hurts bad enough to bring tears to my eyes. Sitting on the floor with Dawson for anything is starting to hurt pretty bad.
Mood? Feeling okay. I have been battling my anxiety this week and my hair has suffered horribly but it's a work in progress, as I say. I'm fine one moment and the next I'm crying. It's hit or miss!
Missing? Alcohol.. Still. I honestly have been missing alcohol so much that I can't even remember anything else I'm missing. Running, I do miss that. I'm beginning to realize it keeps me more level headed than I noticed. Oh, and super hot baths.
Looking forward to? Buying baby clothes and decorating. I went through some of Dawson's old baby clothes this week and it was like a slap- you are going to have a baby, one small enough to fit into these adorable little outfits.
Sleep? Having a lot of bad nights. If I'm asleep, I'm having weird dreams. I've been awake way, way too much at night though. My nose and my back and neck are my biggest obstacles when it comes to sleep.
Exercise? Yep, nope, none of that happening.
Any cravings? Strawberries, cake, chocolate chip cookies. Salad. Iced coffee (decaf)
Food aversions? Steak. Soup. Warm lettuce. Sugary drinks. Cooked veggies.
Well I guess first I should say that we had our anatomy scan on Tuesday and we found out we are having a baby girl. I knew as soon as the tech went to the little booty shot. "There's nothing there.. Not like with Dawson." And she said "that's because you are having a girl." No lie, I cried. I would have cried if she said it was a boy too. In that moment, I thought about all the things I've done with Dawson that I will get to do with a girl. And things I want to do that aren't things Dawson is interested in. It gave the baby a little more of an identity for me. I'll have a daughter to kiss on her wedding day as I help her get dressed. Joe will have a daddy's girl. I love everything about Dawson, and I would do it all again in a heartbeat, but having one of each makes me very excited.
I had my regular appointment right after the ultrasound. My weight is good, everything else seems to be on track. However, the ultrasound did have some things that weren't perfect. The baby has what's called a choroid plexus cyst on her brain and her kidneys are dilated. Both can resolve themselves, but are soft markers for trisomy 18 too. We did not do the testing during the 1st trimester, but were given a chance to do so within the next 2 weeks. Joe and I felt like that still won't give us any answers, just more questions. Our insurance doesn't cover anything else. The cysts happen in plenty of normal babies too, as well as the kidneys. They will do another ultrasound at some point to make sure the dilation of her kidneys is gone. The thing that makes it alarming is they both showed up. It still could be nothing. My anxiety has been hard to control. I almost wish they hadn't told me. I know for liability that they have to. All I can do is continue to pray that she will be okay, doesn't have trisomy 18, and we will bring home a beautiful healthy baby. I can't even go to the other place right now, if it is trisomy 18. I have to try to just think positive, or I'll fall apart.
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