Thursday, August 7, 2014

Time to cut it again

The last few weeks of pregnancy are hard.  For me, at any rate.  I know there are some women out there that probably think all my whining is ridiculous, and to be honest with my first pregnancy, that would have been my thought too.  My mom said it well- this pregnancy has been an 8-9 month long nightmare, not just the last few weeks. The anticipation for it to be over (and new challenges to arrive) is huge right now.. Not just for me, but for my whole family.

Unfortunately, that comes with other struggles for me personally.  I will always struggle with my trichotillomania, but more so when I have an obstacle like being 9 months pregnant.  I was doing pretty great, but being stuck at home with my anxiety sky high is taking it's toll.  I'm going to cut my hair again tonight.  I would rather cut it now, and prevent further damage to how thick it is.  It's actually been thicker in the last month than it has been in a very long time.  If I need to make it shorter to hold onto that, so be it.  

The before:
Pregnant with trichotillomania

I feel a little defeated, but I do know that my idle time is about to go out the window.  Which is bittersweet.  I'm going to try to make it work FOR me with my trich rather than against me.  If I cut my hair now, I can't do any pulling before the baby is born.  I also won't have much time to do any after she's born.  I'm hoping that this awkward phase that I'm in right now with my hair and my pulling will hit when she's a few weeks old, and it won't (or rather, can't) be my focus.. Maybe I can get over this "bump" that I seem to hit at this length.  

The after:
Shaved head

All I can say is I wish I had bought the clippers sooner!  It's nice to be able to just take care of it rather than stew in my disappointment and I really do feel some relief when I cut it.  I feel pretty blessed that I can pull short hair off well.   To spin this around even more to a positive, at least I don't need to worry about fixing my hair for photos of me with Halle! 

1 comment:

  1. Good attitude. I'm posting a but late, since Halle has arrived already, but the sentiment is the same. About the "this length" thing ... did you know there's an awkward length for everyone? I have problems trying to grow out bangs, or hair that was "layered" and I want to let grow lengthy. It's really frustrating because it's either in my eyes, or hitting the back of my neck, or tickling my ears, etc. I also had problems with the thickness of my hair ... God cured that by giving me Graves' Disease. Now, I have no worries except for, "How long before I'm completely bald?" I'll be happy if I don't lose any more, or grow any more (other than normal fall-out & replace). It's a little thin now, but more comfortable in this heat.)