36 weeks pregnant with Halle

36 weeks and 4 days! We could have a baby any time..   

My appointment this week was Friday afternoon.  I had to have the group B strep test this week, yuck.  Let's just say you have to take your pants off for it.  They wanted to check my cervix too, but I'm refusing any cervical checks until I'm in labor..  The one I had at 39 weeks with Dawson was nothing short of awful and I'm not replaying that scene if I can help it!  Although, ask me again next week and my tune might change.   Doctor wanted to go ahead and schedule induction in case she doesn't come on her own before 39 weeks because of the gestational diabetes, so August 19th it is.  I'm hoping she comes on her own though.   Otherwise, my blood sugar numbers still looked pretty good so I just keep on doing what I'm doing.  

Last Sunday I started having a lot of cramping and my back was killing me.  I was figuring it was from riding in the car on Saturday so much.  Monday night things got a little more serious.  I had the cramping still, and the back ache, accompanied by contractions that were about 7-9 minutes apart and painful, but definitely not labor.  Prodromal labor.  Labor purgatory.  I had this for about 5-6 days with Dawson before it turned into the real deal, but it can also go on for weeks.  A shower or bath usually slows or stops it, but I can't spend all day in the shower or my tub!  Prodromal labor is exhausting.. and frustrating.  I still wonder if it's why Dawson was born so quickly after active labor started though, and if it is.. I'll go ahead and take it.  

Dawson and I had a rough week, really rough.  He's feeling the stress I guess.  I'm trying to be patient and give him more of my attention because I really think he's acting out because he knows things are changing.  It breaks my heart when he shows some of these behaviors though- they just really are not like him and it makes me wonder how he's feeling.  Bring on the mom guilt. 

How far along? 36 weeks 4 days pregnant.. Baby is the size of a honeydew melon! 

Weight gain?  According to the scale at the doctor's office, +19 pounds.  

Belly button? Out and looking like something from a sci-fi movie. 

Wedding rings on or off? Off.  

Movement? Much less this week.  She would NOT move during the ultrasound, or breathe.  However, just a little while later she decided to torture me.  My cervix is NOT a dance floor, missy. 

Maternity clothes? Yep.  Had to start wearing nursing bras this week too.  Goody! (That was sarcasm for those of you that missed it..)

Symptoms? Feeling?  Huge?  Super huge? Like a stranger in my own body? Check, check, and check.  Contractions are bugging me.  Crampy all the time.  Back isn't happy.  All sounds like 3rd trimester to me!  My nausea is really bad.  Reflux is pretty awful too, even with meds.  It hurts to walk and I now need assistance getting up off the floor and sometimes out of my chair.  I'm uncomfortable no matter where I'm at. 

Mood? Cranky.  Tired.  Anxious.  Restless and bored a lot.  Been having a lot of racing thoughts.  

Missing? Sleeping in general.  Playing on the floor with Dawson.  Cooking whatever I want, whenever I want.  Exercise.  Waking up feeling good.     

Looking forward to? Getting labor and delivery over with.  

Sleep?  Don't even ask.  Sleep is something I probably won't see much or any of for the next year. 

Exercise? Sure, I think walking to the bathroom and cooking are both exercise at this point.  I do that every day! 

Any cravings? Nothing.  

Food aversions? This list is getting long again.. I don't even know where I would start.  I'm nauseated a lot.  

Until next week! Unless we have a baby by then :) 

35 weeks pregnant

35 weeks! Less than 28 days until baby girl arrives!  Boy, I look tired.  

Yesterday I had my weekly BPP and appointment.  I had a different doctor than my normal, and like had last woman I saw in the office, I didn't like her.  More on that in a minute. The BPP took almost an hour because stubborn little Halle refused to practice her breathing.. she finally did it, but it took her a while.  Everything else looked good though, and she's head down, way down.  

They did check her kidneys, and one is not dilated at all.  The other is borderline abnormal/normal so she will need an ultrasound probably within her first month of life.  This wasn't the news we were hoping for, but we will just take it as it comes.  They didn't say much about her brain, but I couldn't see the cysts anymore during the ultrasound so I'm going to go with they are gone.  That really doesn't mean much though.  We will know more when she is born.  

My meds stayed the same this week, but the doctor I saw kind of knit picked some of my higher readings.  They look about the same (or maybe even a little better) than they were last week when my doctor wasn't concerned at all.  After I told her I was having trouble walking at all, she asked me to increase my activity level and take a 30 minute walk outside daily.  Uh, no.  I don't think so.  I'm in tears just going to the bathroom and also do you know how warm it feels to be this pregnant out in the heat? No way.  She also wanted me to get up in the middle of the night to have a snack because although my fasting numbers look good, they could be even better!  I have reflux.  I would have to wait 4 hours to go back to bed.  No.  She put me on a different medication for the reflux, we will see if it works, but I'm still not getting up to have a snack.  I also refused the Tdap shot and she wasn't thrilled about that.  It's a personal choice.  

Big family BBQ is tomorrow and I'm really looking forward to seeing everyone!  Hopefully I'm not too grumpy/hot/miserable.  

How far along? 35 weeks 3 days pregnant.. Baby is the size of a coconut! 

Weight gain? Gained another pound, according to the doctor's scale and mine.  So +17 pounds. 

Belly button? Out, but shaped different than last week.  Probably because Halle is in a different position. 

Wedding rings on or off? Off.  

Movement? Less frequent the last few days, but when she does decide to move it makes me want to cry it hurts so bad.  Lots of hiccups this week.  

Maternity clothes? I'm too big for even most of my maternity clothes.  Kind of getting ridiculous.  Even my super stretchy yoga pants cut in down low and really piss Halle off.  Trying to wear as many over the bump things or dresses as possible.  

Symptoms? Feeling?  I can't even begin to describe the pelvic pressure.  I'm walking with my knees together because it's like with each step someone is putting a steak knife through my cervix.  Pretty swollen.  I noticed my face is kind of yellow and discolored too.  If I look at my last bump picture with Dawson, had the same thing going on.  Very weird, must be hormonal.  I have an upset stomach a lot and glucerna shakes have become my friend so I don't have to force feed myself.  My nose is awful, I give up.  

Mood? Cranky and frustrated.  I'm not ready to be this restricted.  I feel like I'm doing a whole lot of nothing and there are still things I would like to do.  I'm feeling really attached to Dawson lately, trying to soak up the sweet moments.  It's hard to believe soon it will never be just the 3 of us, it will be 4.  My anxiety is totally out of control, but I had a therapy appointment this week and she talked me down.  Now I just need to keep reminding myself of the conclusions we were drawing when I feel it creeping on me.  

Missing? Sleeping in general.  Playing on the floor with Dawson.  Cooking whatever I want, whenever I want.  Exercise.  Waking up feeling good.     

Looking forward to? Having an outside baby.  Moving on to the next chapter.  Not checking my blood sugar or worrying about it.  

Sleep?  Don't even ask.  Just... Don't.  

Exercise? No, no, no.  

Any cravings? Donuts, cake, and milkshakes.  Oh, and sushi.  

Food aversions? This list is getting long again.. I don't even know where I would start.  

Until next week! 

34 weeks, 5 weeks at most to go!

34 weeks! I wish that 4 was an 8! Pardon the sleepy look, I just got up.  

Wednesday I had a growth scan and what they call a biophysical profile (or a BPP). The BPP is just checking on a few different things.. The placenta, her movements, breathing, fluid levels, etc.  The growth scan is obviously a few more measurements.  I'll have BPP's weekly now.  She was butt down, passed her BPP with flying colors, and is about 4 lbs 14 oz.  She has fallen from 44th percentile to 35th, but the doctor wasn't worried about that.  

My medication at night was increased last week and now this week my medication for the day has also been increased.  However, I'm still really far from the max dosage and even if we have to continue to increase it, I shouldn't have to go on insulin.  Doctor says I'm fairly well controlled blood sugar and growth wise, but he would like to see me eating more.  I'm guessing probably because the one pound I gained over 3 weeks, Halle actually gained.  She's sucking everything out of me! 

How far along? 34 weeks 3 days pregnant.. Baby is the size of a butternut squash! 

Weight gain? Gained another pound, according to the doctor's scale and mine.  So +16 pounds. 

Belly button? It's as out as Ellen Degeneres.  There's no denying it. 

Wedding rings on or off? Off.  I took my necklace off too.  It just kept choking me at night and making me mad. 

Movement? Yeah.. A lot of that.  It's really getting painful now instead of fun to watch.  She's very... forceful, I guess would be a good word.  

Maternity clothes? You betcha.  I feel like boycotting pants/shorts altogether but with ultrasounds weekly, or every other week, I have to put them on sometimes.  I got a couple of dresses that I can go braless in at Forever 21.  That's going to be like heaven.  There should be a rule somewhere that its okay for pregnant ladies 30+ weeks to not wear pants or bras.  It's like it's own form of torture.  

Symptoms? Feeling? Extreme pelvic pressure, even more than last week.  Getting up from my chair I feel like I'm sitting on her head, although I guess it could also be her butt.  Even the doctor said he would have bet money that was her head lodged down in my pelvis.  Never had that feeling with Dawson, but he was much higher I think.  Still swollen, still don't recognize my body in a mirror.  I have an upset stomach more often than not again.  I'm always too hot all of a sudden (I was like that with Dawson.. Ask Joe about driving with the windows down in the car in February! Ha!) My nose is getting worse again, I don't know what to do about that.  

Mood? Cranky and totally done being pregnant.  I'm a bit ashamed to admit there have been tears this week over aches and pains and just wanting to be done.  5 more weeks sounds.. Well, horrible.  Trying to just take things one day at a time but struggling.  I feel really couped up because I can't take Dawson anywhere by myself- helping him go potty in public isn't do-able anymore.   

Missing? Sleeping on my back.  Not getting winded just from walking from point A to point B.  Getting out of the house.  RUNNING!  Exercise in general.  Junk food.    

Looking forward to? Being done.  I'm not looking forward to giving birth, but I'm looking forward to pregnancy being O-V-E-R.  I'm a whiner, I know.  

Sleep?  This isn't even funny this week.  Takes me 2-4 hours of tossing and turning to go to sleep & then I sleep fitfully for 3-4 hours before I'm up again.  I'm exhausted.  And yaaaayyyy it will get worse when she's here! But at least I'll be able to sleep on my back.. Maybe with a baby on me, but I'll take what I can get. 

Exercise? We took a 45 minute walk as a family on Sunday evening, just to get Dawson out of the house & me too. It's been pretty warm and I overheat easily so it's hard to get out, but we had kind of a stormy day.   I walked a lot at the mall yesterday too.  Going up the stairs is exercise at this point, sadly. 

Any cravings? Donuts.. Still.  Cake.  Peach or blueberry cobbler.  Watermelon.  

Food aversions? Fried foods still.  Chicken, unless it's breaded and baked.  Sausage.  Eggs.  Vegetables except cucumber.  Water.. Ugh, so tired of water.  

Until next week! 

33 weeks pregnant with little miss Halle!

33 weeks, because I completely skipped 32.  

Between the holiday (Happy late Independence Day!) and feeling overwhelmed with all my appointments, I took a bit of a break.  I've been trying to just enjoy family and focus on where I'm at NOW because my coping skills, quite frankly, suck.  I needed some distraction.   

The first 3 to 4 days I was on my new meds for my gestational diabetes they worked beautifully.  My numbers were about 20-30 points lower and I was able to loosen up on how much of everything I was eating.  I also didn't have to write everything down which helped a lot.  However, by the time my appointment on the 3rd rolled around, my numbers were climbing again.  Most of the time it starts with my fasting number first thing in the morning and if that's bad, the whole day is almost impossible to get under control even with the medication.  I'm calling this morning per my instructions from the doctor I saw on the 3rd (who I hated, that's for another day..) and I'm guessing they will up my dose in the evenings.  Makes me a bit nervous because I have had some lows the last week that are equally hard to get under control.  

We had a 3D/4D ultrasound of Halle a little over a week ago and that was really awesome.  She looks so much like her big brother.  I can't wait to see the two of them together.  I wonder if she will have curls like Dawson and me.  She is an active little thing.. I had her growth scan on a Friday and she was head down then, head up on Monday for the 3D and by Thursday she was head down again!  Crazy girl. 

Here's a couple of pics we got from the 3D! 

How far along? 33 weeks pregnant.. Baby is the size of a durian!  Whatever that is.  Go home, thebump.com, you're drunk! 

Weight gain? Still sitting at +15 lbs according to the doctor's office.  My doctor wants to see me gaining some, but according to my scale I am losing.. Mine says +12. 

Belly button? The top is poking out pretty good, depending on her position.  

Wedding rings on or off? Off.  Dawson is fascinated and slightly bothered by the fact that I have my rings on a necklace.  

Movement? She moves all the time.. Now she gets the hiccups several times a day as well, which does not seem to make her happy! 

Maternity clothes? Oh yes.  This week I'm down to one dress and one pair of shorts, seeing as how that dress in the picture won't be worn after today.  I apparently got too big for my other shorts because I ripped them both trying to get them up.  Awesome.  Total self esteem booster.  The other dress isn't going to fit for much longer either so I'm going to have to figure something else out.  

Symptoms? Feeling? Extreme pelvic pressure.  I think she's dropped down a bit.  Swollen from the waist down and that's a little odd to look at.  My legs and feet look really big to me, I barely recognize them.  Been more queasy lately, I think from the meds and not being used to eating so much.  I've also been getting head aches pretty often.  My nose is still really messed up so maybe it's from that.  I don't know. 

Mood? Stressed.  And if I'm being honest, I've been feeling sorry for myself.  I'm whiny and tired and cranky.  I feel like I'm on autopilot emotionally. 

Missing? Sleep.  Eating and drinking whenever I want.  Running.  Doing fun things out with Dawson.  

Looking forward to? Can I say having this baby? That's about all at this point.  It's too early, I know.  I can still look forward to it though.  

Sleep?  HA! That's funny.  

Exercise? No, none of that going on.  I walked all day on the 4th at the rodeo/carnival but besides that and maybe grocery shopping, I'm not getting any exercise.  It just makes me feel like crap.  

Any cravings? Donuts.. And fruity drinks.  I would give my right arm for one of each.  Or 10 of each.  

Food aversions? Fried foods.  Anything greasy pretty much.  Vegetables, I'm sick of vegetables.  Eggs and sandwiches.  

Until next week! 

31 weeks and the official GD diagnosis

31 weeks and officially a gestational diabetic.. Again.  

I think I mentioned before that my OB practice when I had Dawson was completely incompetent. They realized at nearly 36 weeks pregnant that I hadn't passed my 1 hour glucose test and put me through the hell of the 3 hour glucose test at 37 weeks (seems a bit late, no?) and then when I failed that, labeled me a gestational diabetic but never treated me OR Dawson like we had it.  Anyway, I didn't really know what it was like to go through the last couple of months being treated.   As a result, this is all new and scary.. but I was expecting it.. Well, some of it.  

I've been busting my ass to keep my numbers after breakfast, lunch, and dinner under control.  This week I finally figured out the key to my fasting number being good was to skip a snack at night and have a scoop of peanut butter instead.  But my meal numbers were just not coming down, no matter what.

 I was sent to the moderate/high risk OB today and also to have a growth ultrasound to check to see how this has all been on Halle.   First, she's fine.  She's about 3 pounds 14 ounces which is the 44th percentile.  Her kidneys have nearly resolved the dilation, but it looks as if her choroid plexus cysts are still there.  There was no comment on that from the doctor.  Fluid looks good, she has hair, she's head down, and she's very, very wiggly!  I've been put on Glyburide twice a day to control my sugars and I'll have to go for weekly appointments to monitor her and my numbers.  If the medication works, I can continue to see my midwife for this.  Huge relief.  I spent an hour in therapy on Wednesday crying because I knew this was all coming and I was scared to switch doctors.  

Halle will be born before 39 weeks or I'll be induced.  I honestly don't care at this point.  I feel like I can't have any expectations about this pregnancy because not much has been easy about it.  

Next appointment is July 3rd.  By then we will know if the meds are working! 

How far along? 31 weeks 3 days pregnant.. Baby is the size of a pineapple! 

Weight gain? My weight at the midwife Wednesday was +15 lbs! Still gaining! But doctor says this is a great weight gain thus far.  

Belly button? Its in when I sit in certain positions but mostly poking out.  So weird.  

Wedding rings on or off? Took them off this week.. Had a hard time getting them off, I was a little panicked! Wearing them on a chain around my neck.  I feel naked. 

Movement? Tons of movement.  She is SO active. I feel like my belly is bruised from the inside out as a result.  

Maternity clothes? Yep.. Already uncomfortable in pants.  Time for some new dresses I think.  

Symptoms? Feeling? My left hip is KILLING me.  There is no comfortable chair or position.   Rib seems to be in a constant muscle cramp lately.. Goes with the new leg, foot, and arm cramps I'm getting on the regular.  My nose is still really messed up. 

Mood? Tired, still.  It's been a stressful week.  I've cried a lot.  Not coping great but I have my therapy appointments scheduled out for a month to help me with some coping strategies.  I can't change what's happening but I can change how I deal and cope with it all. 

Missing? Exercise, baked goods, putting on pants without sitting down.  Climbing the stairs without stopping to catch my breath.  

Looking forward to? 3D ultrasound scheduled for Monday! Very excited!  It was fun to see her moving today but I know it will be much more awesome to see it in something other than 2D :)

Sleep?  I don't even want to talk about sleep.  To say it sucks would be a huge understatement.   This has actually gotten even worse this week.  

Exercise? No, none of that going on.  I took my fitbit off because I was feeling so awful, it seemed pointless.  I will put it back on when my dizziness and nasal congestion let up. (Same this week... Not sure the fitbit will actually go back on) 

Any cravings? Fruit, donuts, cake, panera, and everything "forbidden" basically.  Gestational diabetes is a little like torture sometimes. 

Food aversions? Fried foods.  Anything greasy pretty much.  Vegetables.. Some, anyway.  Eggs.  Pretty sick of lunch meat too. 

Until next week!